Tagged Again.... this time a little different....

I am: a daughter of God, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, an individual, a return missionary, a student, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints....
I know: that all will be well if we follow the prophet....
I want: too many things...LOL! On a serious note I want my boys to be safe, love the gospel of
Jesus Christ, for them to be faithful, and to know how much their mommy and daddy
love them and how grateful we are to be their parents.
I have: a wonderful family and amazing friends!
I dislike: anything that makes Satan happy!
I miss: Mt Home 3rd Ward, my extended family who live in other states....
I feel: hopeful and happy. Occassionally I feel overwhelmed and disappointed....
I hear: Bryce and Ian laughing and enjoying eachother's company after being apart for days...
I smell: the scent of freshly laundered clothes and a clean house....
I crave: Chinese Food....
I search: for lost toys, new gadgets to add to this blog, and the scriptures to find peace....
I wonder: about a lot of things!!!!
I regret: not being kinder, more patient, more forgiving, more understanding, a better mom, a
better wife, a better friend.... so much to work on!
I love: the gospel, my Savior, my family, traveling, being with friends and family, scrapbooking,
journaling, and sewing....
I care: about family and friends....
I worry: about Ian's cancer coming back.... even though I know the Lord has promised to heal
him. I need to show forth more faith...
I remember: when all I had to worry about on my mission was teaching the gospel of Jesus
Christ. Oh to be worry and distraction free.......
I dance: around the house with Bryce and Ian .... cheek to cheek to the tunes of Brad Paisley...
the boys love it!
I argue: with Mike... more often than I would like to admit, mostly because I am opionated and
bossy....
I write: on this blog and in my journal and sometimes an email....
I win: most games of Boggle I play with most everyone.....
I lose: most games of Monopoly I play with my sister Chloe...
I wish: Ian was home, there wasn't so much hate in the world, I wasn't in debt, I could go back
school, I had more time to sew.....
I listen: to episode after episode of Ben 10 and Scoobie Doo, sometimes my I-pod when I do
housework or when I am driving to Primary Children's Hospital....
I can usually be found: at the hospital taking care of Ian and Spencer.... at home I am
usually found cleaning, playing with Bryce or on the computer.....
I am scared: of evil, and of Ian suffering....
I need: more sleep, more hours in a day, more routine, more patience, more faith.....
I forget: stuff at home that I need to take to the hospital.....
I am happy: when I am doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do...when I am with my
family....
I tag: whoever wants to be tagged.....

It is done........

This is Ian after the transplant playing with his new front end loader. He likes to put his candy in it and dump it.

Here is Fred. For those of you who don't know, Ian has named his IV pole and pumps "Fred" and his central line is named "Gertrude"...... here is Fred with the stem cells....

Me, Ian and his nurse Joan. This is the moment when his nurse is connecting him to do the stem cell infusion. It's much like a blood or platelet transfusion, only it goes much faster. I think the transplant took all of 15 minutes. The Thomoas the Train blanket was a gift from the Bone Marrow Transplant team for Ian's Third Bone Marrow Transplant Birthday. The Doctors and the nurses come in and sing to him and give him some presents.

Ian was sleeping just before the transplant. They have to give him some premeds (Benadryl and a steroid) before transplant just in case he has a reaction to the preservative used to store the stem cells. The preservative smells like cream corn. The funny thing is that Ian wreaks of cream corn for about two or three days after transplant.

This is the container that holds Ian's stem cells on dry ice. Ian had enough stem cells harvested in one day to do six transplants. Isn't the human body amazing!

Ian is officially done with his cancer treatments. As of yesterday he had his last transplant. His last chemo was administered last Monday and Tueseday. I have such mixed emotions about it. Of course I am so glad that Ian doesn't have to ever have chemo again and endure the side effects of it and yet somehow there is this weird safe feeling of being in treatment. In other words, our family is now entering the wait and see space of this challenge. Though I know Ian will be cured, it's hard knowing that the doctors won't give me that assurance for some years to come. It is truly the time when we must put our trust in the Lord and His promises to Ian and our family! The reality is, I can't imagine how any cancer cell could possibly have survived the chemo Ian recieved and the dose in which it was administered. All will be well, it is in the Lord's hands now.

Guess Who Likes Pickles...???

It's as if he's saying " Who me?" The rest of the food stuff on him were cookies. He loves big people food and refuses to eat baby food. I guess that's a good thing, we just offer him most everything we are eating these days. I only wish he had some teeth to eat with. No teeth yet....

Hmmmmmm Yummy Pickle......

I dare you to take it away from me......

So, we discovered last Sunday that Spencer loves pickles. We had a blast watching him suck all the juice out of a whole pickle. I let him work on it for about a half hour and when I finally took it away from him, he was not a happy baby. It sure cracked us up. Sweet baby!

More Pictures.....

Bryce and Ian on the car ride down to Primary Children's Oncology Clinic. They are showing off their new winter coats. The date on the pic is actually the 24th, but the camera was acting up. This was the Friday before Ian was to be admitted for his third and final round of chemo with transplant. He was enjoying the car ride, especially since we can't take him any place except to and from the hospital.

Me and Bryce at the Oncology Clinic. It is so hard to entertain three little boys in a small room. Bryce was climbing the walls, and unfortunately we almost always spend at least and hour at the clinic, even though all that is being done is a blood draw for labs and a quick listen to Ian's lungs.
Shouldn't take that long right???? Wrong...... I really appreciate Bryce for his patience and understanding, we sure are asking alot of a 4 year old. He's such a good boy!

Bryce and Ian have so much fun when they are together. I like to take lots of pictures when Ian is home, because the boys have so much fun playing and catching up! I though this pic of Bryce was cute and he was just so happy.

Ian sure had fun being home and playing with his big brother. It almost seems cruel to take him back to the hospital. I am glad that he is so little because he won't remember everything. I am so amazed by Ian, he is dealing so well with everything and while he has his moments, he is truly my little hero.

I love this picture of Spencer, he finds all kinds of neat toys around the house and I love to watch him discover what they do. I especially love the way that he sits. Those long scrawny legs. His little T-shirt says FBI Fat, Bald and Innocent.

Some more cute pics of the boys...

Spencer is now crawling and often goes under the table....
Have I mentioned that the nurses adore Spencer, one of them put him in this fun car to play....
Bryce and Ian enjoying some much needed brother time.......they sure do love eachother!

Spencer being cute! I hope he knows this is as close to driving as he is going to get for a VERY long time! LOL!
Sweet Bryce. He is doing so well and being such a great brother! I'm really impressed with his patience during this family challenge!

We're Home.... YAY!!!

We are so happy to be home again. Ian successfully completed round two of high dose chemo with stem cell transplant. He sailed right through the whole process once again. The doctors and nurses are all amazed and impressed. Of course Mike and I know that it is the power of Heavenly Father to protect and heal. Ian truly is a miracle and testament to the power of the priesthood of God.

On Sunday the 12th of October we had a very special visitor. Elder Pearson of the First Quorum of the Seventy on assignment from President Monson came to visit Ian and give him a priesthood blessing. There hasn't been any doubt in our minds that Ian would survive this ugly disease. He had two priesthood blessing in Mt Home, one from Bishop Coleman prior to his tumor resection and another by President Chick just prior to his surgery to have a port installed and a lumbar puncture as well as bone marrow extraction to check to see if the cancer had spread. On both occassions, the Lord promised that Ian's life would be preserved. We don't doubt the Lord's promises. I know that the priesthood power exercised by the Bishop and President Chick is the same priesthood power exercised by Elder Pearson. We weren't looking for another confirmation of what we already knew, our big heartache has been the possibility of permanent hearing loss and the possibility of Ian being infertile. It's like adding insult to injury. It hurts to know that I gave birth to a beautiful perfect little boy and that he could possibly suffer some disabilities.

Elder Pearson was so kind, he knows what Mike and I are going through because one of his sons had cancer several years ago and is now doing very well. While most people can express sympathy about our challenge, it's rare to find another person who can empathize with us. He gave Ian a beautiful blessing, in which again the Lord promised Ian would be healed. The part that was so neat was that the Lord promised that Ian would not suffer from any lasting side effects of the medications that are being used to cure his cancer and that Ian's life would be a testament to all who know him of the power of the priesthood to heal. Ian is a miracle to Mike and me. I know that Ian is doing so well because Heavenly Father is in charge and has a plan for Ian's life. I am so grateful for priesthood blessings!!! It was so nice to know that President Monson cares enough about our family, that he would assign someone to come and bless our familys life.

So, we get to be home for a week and then on to round three. I am so glad that we are almost done with the treatments. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. YAY! Nevertheless, the coming year will be filled with exams, scans and lots of blood work to make sure Ian is progressing the way he needs to. I look forward to the day when our family can go out together, attend church together, have friends over. This challenge is definately a lonely one....in other words, we have the love and support of family and friends, near and far and yet we feel so isolated! It is a small price to pay for a very important member of our family!

Round Two....

Well, Ian was admitted last Friday, the 3rd of October to begin round two of high dose chemo with stem cell transplant rescue. He is doing very well. I can only hope and pray that he continues to do as well this time around as he did last time. Sometimes I feel selfish wanting my little boy to do so well, when I am painfully aware of other children on the ICS unit who are not responding as well to their treatments and who are so sick. Heavenly Father has a plan for all His children and yet, I can barely stand the thought of a child suffering. I remain confident in the blessings and promises that the Lord has made to Ian and our family.
I have been attending a Parents Break group at the hospital, and so I am meeting families whose children are on the unit. I never knew their were so many children suffering from cancer. Whenever I am tempted to feel sorry for myself, my family or little Ian, I am reminded that their are other's who have it so much worse. I remind myself of all our blessings. It also helps to remember that this too shall soon pass and will only make us stronger, if not completely traumatized....LOL! For those of you who were able to watch or listen to Conference, wasn't it wonderful! I prayed that I would here something that would help me endure this challenge in my life a little better. I was especially touched by President Uchtdorf's talk on Hope. I felt so inspired and uplifted by his words. I know Heavenly Father inspires His servants to speak on topics that His children need to hear.