Hi Friends, Family and Visitors to our blog! I am sharing this story with all of you in the hopes that perhaps someone reading this will be able to help or know someone who can! My dear friend and past roommate from BYU, Natalie contacted me to share this story, and the Hess family are dear friends of theirs. Please take the time to consider if there is anything you can do. Again I appreciate all of you who have been such a support to my family as we have dealt with the the challenge of cancer in our family. Your prayers, thoughts, selfless acts of service have made our journey that much easier to endure. At the very least, perhaps you can remember the Hess family in your prayers. Thanks everyone! You guys are the BEST!!!
***FEDERAL EMPLOYEES- PLEASE DONATE LEAVE TO RYAN HESS***
My name is Margie Hess, my husband Ryan was diagnosed on June 12, 2009 with a rare and aggressive form of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Since this is an aggressive form of T-Cell Lymphoma, his doctor has put him on an aggressive chemo regimen that will result in him being unable to work for the next 4-6 months and possibly longer. At the time of diagnosis he was finishing up his 1st year as a Podiatry Resident at the V.A. in Tucson, AZ. Ryan is a devoted husband and father of two children, Hallie (5) and Max (2). By the end of this month (June 2009), Ryan will use up the last of his vacation and sick leave and will have to go on unpaid leave. Ryan is the sole provider for our family; I stay at home with both the kids. Without him working we have no income. I need to stay home to help care for him, so I cannot get a job right now, either. As difficult as it is for our family to have to ask for help, we have realized that we must do so at this time. We were told that any federal employee (ie: military, Border Patrol, DEA, FB I, Dept of Justice, EPA etc. EXCEPT Post Office employees) can donate vacation time to be used as sick leave for another Federal employee. We would be so thankful for any number of extra paid days we can accumulate. Thank you so much.How can you help if you ARE a Federal Employee?Go to your HR department and request to donate leave to Ryan Hess who works for the VA. (Your HR person will know the form that needs to be filled out- each Federal agency has their own form to donate leave)Once filled out and signed, the HR person will then need to fax or e-mail the form to:OLIVIA McCLURE - Benefits Specialist (TUCSON V.A.)Phone #: (520) 792-1450 x 6076Fax # : (520) 629-1849E-Mail : olivia.mcclure@va.govALSO, for those who are federal employees, please print out this message and post it in break/lunch rooms to help get the word out as well as emailing it to co-workers!How to help if you are NOT a Federal Employee:PASS this along to ANYONE and EVERYONE that you know and then ask them to pass the message along. Post it on blogs, Facebook...whatever you can think of.Thanks again everyone- this will help SO much!GO TEAM RYAN HESS!(E-mail teamryanhess@gmail.com to receive updates or to send a message!)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
"MOMMY YOU HAVE SWEET LITTLE MONSTERS"
Ian and Bryce at the Hill AFB Air Show
Sweet Spencer 17 months old
Sweet Monsters Bryce and Ian waiting to leave for church
GateWall mall in SLC the water feature. Spencer is so cute!Lately, both Bryce and Ian have been reminding me that I have "sweet little monsters". I think I have called them my sweet little monsters one too many times. They don't seem to mind my loving description of them and I almost think they are proud of being monsters. Things are going well around here. The boys are happy and healthy and enjoying the summer. We have
been getting out more and attending all of our church meetings. Of course, Ian has more scans coming up in July. What I want to know is why three months seems like an eternity if you are waiting for something wonderful to happen and why it FLIES by when something stressful or unpleasant is impending??? Quite frankly I am just looking forward to the day when I don't feel like I am waiting for something bad to happen. Considering the last year and a half of my life and many other unpleasant childhood events, I have to fight to not feel like I am waiting for the next tragedy to happen. For the most part I feel hopeful, happy, positive, and optimistic and yet I'm just guarded enough to not feel free and 100% content. We are commanded to be grateful and have joy. Well I AM grateful .................. that life isn't as bad as it could be and often is for others............. no really I am grateful for all of my blessings. LOL! I'm still working on being joyful. How do you be happy and joyful when you're in the middle of something ugly? I have moments of immense happiness and I laugh regularly(who wouldn't with boys like mine?) I'm talking about the kind of joy that stays, lingers with you always....a contentment a sense of peace.... Maybe I'm just afraid to be happy for fear that it will be snuffed out by something completely outside of my control. Anyway, I'm grateful for my wonderful family. I have the best husband....Heavenly Father knew I was going to need a companion with infinite patience. How Mike puts up with opinionated, bossy, impatient, unforgiving little me, I will never know and yet he adores me. He loves to see me happy. He loves our boys and he works so hard to provide for all of us. I not only love him for who he is, but also for all the potential for greatness I see in him. He's a work in progress and so am I. I love him because he wants to please the Lord and because he wants to do his best. SO now that this blog is a buffet of different thoughts and feelings....I just want to say one last thing. I want to thank all of my friends and family for taking the time to register to become a bone marrow donor. Yesterday was the last day to obtain a free kit to become a donor, and I hope that even though it now will cost a nominal fee, that many of you will still take the time to research the idea of becoming a donor and consider registering to become one. It could save someone's life.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Has it really been a year already???
Ian and Bryce nearly one year after Ian's diagnosis.
Ian happy and healthy one year later.
Ian on the day he was released from the hospital after brain surgery. So brave and so strong.
Hours after brain surgery. So difficult to see him like this!
Me holding Ian the day before surgery. He was diagnosed June 2nd 2008. External shunt placed to drain excess brain fluid. So this week marks the one year anniversary of Ian's diagnosis with cancer and the beginning of a very intense journey. Even today, I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around what we have accomplished in just a year or what we have endured in one year. Sometimes it just seems like a HUGE nightmare and that I am going to wake up and find out that that was all it was. I have so many thoughts and emotions about this entire experience, some so sacred that I have only really shared them with my husband and maybe my sister, and others I have shared with close friends. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to talk about this journey without getting emotional or be able to clearly express everything that I am thinking. I continue to believe that I need to share our story because it's healing for me and who knows, maybe it will help and inspire another to endure their difficult challenges.
Though I have cried many times throughout this last year, I can say that I have not felt a desire or temptation to be bitter about the situation. I haven't even felt angry. I HAVE felt exhausted, sad, pain so deep I thought my heart would break because of it, frustration at the lack of control, anguish and some fear. At the same time I HAVE felt hope, love, courage, gratitude, compassion, faith, the Spirit, joy, peace, and patience.
What I would really like to share today are some of the ways my testimony has grown and some of the things I have learned through this challenge.
My testimony of AGENCY has been strengthened! I know that I have a CHOICE to be grateful or bitter, positive or negative, hopeful or discouraged, patient or impatient and so on and so forth, and the opportunity to repent when I have been less than positive. From the minute that Mike and I heard the news we decided right then and there that we could do this and that we wouldn't let it destroy what we had created. So far things are on track and I would say that we are closer because of this challenge. So many families are ripped apart with this type of challenge. The stress is unbelievably high, the fear can overwhelm and the pain can make it hard to function. I choose to have hope, I choose to have faith, I choose to trust Heavenly Father and most importantly I choose to accept His will for me and my family. I know that He loves me and my family and that He will make all things right.
Another thing that I have learned, is that there is always someone, somewhere whose life is that much more challenging, sad, scary, difficult. I don't know why some suffer more than others or why some don't seem to have any real significant challenges. I do know that so long as we aren't bringing upon ourselves these challenges because of willful disobedience to Heavenly Father's commandments, He will bless us in our time of need, He will make our burdens light if we come unto Him. I believe that which doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. I feel more love, compassion and empathy for those who are suffering. I know that I can do hard things. I have an even stronger desire to serve and help others. I know with an even stronger knowledge that Heavenly Father loves His children and that our lives have purpose and meaning. He knows us, knows our needs, knows our pains, and desires to bless our lives if will come unto Him. He will compensate all hardship in His own time of course. I'm so grateful that He has entrusted me with three sweet little boys and that He trusted me with this challenge. I know He didn't cause Ian to have cancer, but I believe He knew Ian's body would "rebel" and He trusted me with this special spirit! I always remember that it isn't the size of the challenge or even the type or length of a challenge that matters, but rather our ATTITUDE. How are we going to respond?
My testimony of Priesthood Blessings has grown. I have seen with my own eyes and felt with my own heart the miracles that come from priesthood blessings. Ian is truly a walking miracle.
I've learned it's alright to let others serve me. This has been one of the hardest things for me because it has required me to humble myself and acknowledge that I CAN'T do it all by myself. I have prided myself on my supposed ability to do it all....
I'm more grateful for the little things and I try harder not to sweat the small stuff. I admit I still get my knickers in a twist over germs and yuckies! I have tried to calm down my neuroticism and OCD, I'm not sure that will ever go away. Good thing I have Mike, I think he believes that germs don't exist. He's much more laid back than me. I'm the lysol, clorox wipe, hand sanitizing crazy lady. Now if only I could get my boys to stop putting their thumb and finger in their mouths. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've learned to laugh amidst the challenge. My boys I have learned are flexible, they roll with the punches and know just how to make me laugh. More than likely I will be the only one to walk away from all this emotionally scarred. Ian, Bryce and Spencer won't remember a thing. I blame Ian for all the gray hair. I feel I have aged 10 years in the space of one, if that's even possible. I still can't decide whether to start dying my hair or not. LOL!
Mostly I just want to share my testimony. I know that God lives. That Jesus Christ lives. He is our Saviour. I know that They love us and know us and will lighten our burdens. I'm grateful for challenges, I feel closer to Heavenly Father through them. I'm so grateful to family, friends and all of the many doctors and nurses or other professionals who have been along for the ride with us. Truly we have not been alone. How grateful I am for the Plan of Salvation. Life has meaning and purpose and all will be made right. I'm grateful for my eternal family and for sacred Temple ordinances. I love my family and friends. I love my Father in Heaven and my Saviour. All will be well if I continue to strive to stay on the path and repent when I fall short. I have so many weaknesses and yet I know I make it with my Saviour help.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Fun in the Water...
Things are starting to warm up around here .... About a week and half ago we made a trip down to Salt Lake to the Gate Way Mall water feature for kids. Water shoots out of MANY spouts all over the ground. Music is playing and there is seating for parents to watch the kiddos play. We hadn't planned on the taking the kids to the water, however when we saw how much fun the other kids were having and how bad Bryce and Ian wanted to join in we just let them go in fully clothed. Mike and I had a BLAST watching them run from water spout to water spout as they tried to guess which spout water was going to come out of next. Unfortunately, we didn't bring the camera for that. However, we will be going back before the summer is over, it was too much fun not to do again.
So, after that experience the boys have been asking to play in the water out back. We set up a couple pools, a neat kiddy sprinkler and a water table. What fun! The only complaint I have, .... is that our back yard is mostly dirt and patchy lawn! PATHETIC! I have to change out the water frequently and move the sprinkler around so as to not create a mud pit! We even put down grass seed and nothing is growing! SUPER LAME! Nevertheless, this will NOT thwart our summer time fun!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Aunt Tammy
A week and a couple days goes by real fast when you're having fun! We had Mike's older sister Tammy visiting from Phoenix. She left this morning and both Bryce and Ian were upset. Bryce cried all the way back to Layton and to church. Both boys have been asking to go back to the airport in the hopes that they will find their aunt Tammy! We are going to miss her. The good thing is that she will be back for another visit next year! YAY!
We managed to accomplish quite a bit while Tammy was here. We made a trip down to Provo and ate at a chilean restaurant, went to BYU, went to the Quilted Bear, played at Chuck E Cheese's, ate lots of food that tasted great but was not entirely healthy, we played beauty salon in our guest bathroom, Mike and I had lots of date nights, Tammy learned some basic crocheting, facebook in and outs, and got hooked on the Twilight series. Over all I would say it was a very pleasant visit! We sure do miss Tammy!
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